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20th December 2013
Bowl Mania Challenge.........Sign Up......4 Bowl Games Saturday 21, 2013
Sign Up Link:http://games.espn.go.com/college-bowl-mania/2013/en/group?groupID=5405
Group Name: LJ Bowl Mania Ballers
Password: livejournalOK, Here's the Deal, I want everyone on my friends list to participate. I don't care if you don't know anything about college football. I just want you participation. Everyone that has played in the past has been pleasantly surprised about how it has brought out their competitive spirit. All you have to do is follow the sign up process linked above. Go through and select all the games. Don't worry about confidence points unless you want to stack the deck in favor of your favorite team. I really enjoy it when someone finally participates in one of these pick'em challenges and discovers how obsessed they become in wanting to win.
Quote of the Day
Being busy does not always mean real work.
The object of all work is production or accomplishment and
to either of these ends there must be
forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose,
Qas well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.
-Thomas A Edison
19th December 2013
Quote of the Day
This is a time for reflection as well as celebration. As you look back on the past year and all that has taken place in your life, Remember each experience for the good that has come of it and for the knowledge you have gained. Remember the efforts you have made and the goals you have reached. Remember the love you have shared and the happiness you have brought. Remember the laughter, the joy, the hard work, and the tears. And as you reflect on the past year, also be thinking of the new one to come. Because most importantly, this is a time of new beginnings and the celebration of life."
18th December 2013
Talking About Sex With Your Partner
Many of us spend a lot of time and energy hoping to find Mr. Right. We also imagine that when we find him, the sex will always and automatically be fabulous. When we first meet someone new, we often feel so much passion that the specifics of what we are doing don’t matter all that much.
Sooner or later the novelty starts to wear off and we find ourselves wishing he would do things a little differently. Or maybe this guy is wonderful in just about every way…except for your connection in bed. What do you do?
You’ve got a right to express your desires. Getting most of your wants and needs met is important in a relationship. Still, effective communication in the bedroom is different from talking about other stuff. It’s one thing to have your partner tell you that he doesn’t approve of the way you stack dishes in the dishwasher; it’s quite another to hear that he doesn’t care for the way you do oral sex.
In intimate matters our hearts are closer to the surface. Feelings get bruised more easily. Handled poorly, he ends up feeling incompetent as a lover and you feel like a cad. This is not the way to get what you want in bed!
One thing to keep in mind is that for most of us, our lover is the scariest person in the world. If you are having casual nookie with someone and he doesn’t like what you are doing, it’s generally no big deal. It’s very different with a lover. Truth is, you probably care about what he thinks of you more than you care about anyone else’s opinion. If you aren’t pleasing him you can find yourself feeling pretty upset with yourself. Your partner is scary to you not because he’s a bad guy, but because you are invested in him and really care what he thinks.
It is important to understand that you cannot read his mind and he can’t read yours. You may feel absolutely certain you know what he’s thinking – what feels good to him, what turns him on – but you don’t know for certain unless he tells you. Believing that your partner would know what you like “if he really loved you” is to set yourself up for big disappointments.
Ask him if he likes what you are doing. Better yet, stop what you are doing and whisper the question in his ear. Make your question sexy. Instead of clinically asking his preference for something, try doing your best and then cooing “do you like that?”
If you would really like your lover to try doing something differently, be sweet in the way that you ask. Keep it positive. “Oh baby, I’d love it even more if you did this….” Then show him what you want. Smile, be encouraging and don’t require perfection from him. When you find your partner doing something that you like, let him know. This isn’t about faking an orgasm; it’s more about letting your pleasure be big and obvious enough so that you are sharing it with him. When we share our pleasure with someone we care about, the pleasure often becomes bigger still.
If the two of you have a serious problem to talk about, keep it out of the bedroom. Have the discussion elsewhere at a time and in a place where you can give each other your undivided attention. Keep the bedroom reserved for lovemaking and sleeping.
Want to try something new? Exploring new interests with a partner can be lots of fun. It also requires sensitivity from each of you. Trying a new erotic activity can feel a little awkward at first, but broadening your sexual repertoire can keep things interesting. Don’t rush. Don’t laugh at your partner – even if he sounds funny saying “Who’s your Daddy?” (Laughing at yourself is OK.)
Finally, keep in mind that it is that it is in your best interest to help your partner feel like a great lover. Psychologists understand that punishing a behavior decreases how often it occurs while rewarding a behavior increases it’s frequency. Makes sense, doesn’t it? So don’t punish your partner by criticizing the way he makes love. Doing that may make him uninterested in sex with you at all, resulting in a serious case of bed death.
Let him know he’s a great lover and you’ll make it much more likely that he will keep his interest in sex with you. Make some noise when you make love to give him clues about what you are experiencing. Tell him you love it when he does something you like. Compliment him on the way he looks, on how sexy you find him. Look at him with the eyes of a lover, not a critic. Even if you wish he would spend more time at the gym, there are probably many things you can compliment him about.
Let him know you appreciate him sexually – not in a demanding or manipulative way, but in a genuine way that helps him understand your attraction to him.
17th December 2013
Quote of the Day
Perseverance is a great element of success; if you only knock
long enough and loud enough at the gate you
are sure to wake up somebody.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
16th December 2013
Handling Partner Emergencies
Sometimes events overtake us. Whether it is an out-of-the-blue surprise like the exposing of an affair or the accumulated discontent that comes from neglecting the health of a relationship, we are suddenly facing a confrontation. Something has changed so much that one partner or the other is no longer certain he wants to be in this relationship. The relationship is in crisis.
Gay couples often don’t have a lot of support. Family and friends may be of marginal help, but too often there is the expectation that, well…breakups happen. There are often none of the legal complications that cause heterosexual couples to work for a while before dissolving their marriage. Gay couples are too often left to their own devices. That makes it imperative to get to work on the relationship as soon as possible.
Try to avoid making hasty or drastic decisions or threats. If something has happened which brings up a great deal of emotion – hurt, fear, anger – express what you are feeling without making threats. Take a few deep breaths. Stay grounded.
Arguing about blame can be tempting – particularly if one of you feels deeply wronged by the other. It is easy to get self-righteous when the other person has done something pretty awful. You are certainly entitled to your feelings, but understand that you may have to face a choice: you can prove that you are right, or you can try to resurrect your relationship. Making the latter choice may mean broadening your idea of what “winning an argument” looks like, but choosing to prove your point and punish your partner may mean letting go of a relationship that still has value to both of you. Choose wisely!
Listen to your partner. This can be difficult if you feel attacked or betrayed, but try. What do you imagine he is feeling? See if you can listen to his feelings as well as expressing your own.
What do you need right now? If you need something from your partner, see if you can make a specific request that can be translated into action. If he needs something from you, ask him to be specific, too. Avoid general complaining, replacing it with a call for doing something concrete. If you have faced a similar crisis before, what do you remember about what was helpful then – or what mistakes you would like to avoid?
Be cautious about venting your frustration and anger with friends. Friends who get the impression you are breaking up with your partner are likely to say things they will regret later. (“I never liked the jerk.”) This is ultimately not fair to your soon-to-be-former friends, nor is it helpful to you or your relationship.
If you value your relationship, you will do well to avoid these sorts of relationship emergencies if at all possible. That may mean making an agreement ahead of time (ideally, at the time that you are first making a commitment to each other) never to talk about breaking up in a moment of anger; if you have to face that possibility, you want to make the decision in a clear-headed way and not the heat of the moment.
Remember that couples often wait so long to get into counseling that relationship counselors sometimes joke among themselves that they are “love’s undertakers.” Don’t wait that long to start caring for your relationship.
Quote of the Day
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick,
at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
15th December 2013
One of my favorite snacks
I just can't stop eating theses delicious little pieces of heaven.
It's the perfect snack.
12th December 2013
12 Half-Truths We Live With
Say it isn't so. Various news organizations have recently reported that on occasion the Subway sandwich chain's $5 footlong measures 11 inches instead of 12 — as advertised. Sure enough, the bacon, lettuce and tomato jewel we bought Friday fell a little short. But it was delicious. And Subway did explain to CNN and the world that methods of baking the bread can cause a slight size differential. Makes sense.
Perhaps the point is, things may not always be exactly what they seem and — perhaps more precisely — we already know that. We go on. Our Facebook friends are not necessarily our friends. Catfish are not just for outdoor types anymore. A barista may not really care whether we have a nice day or not.
Some things we accept have more serious consequences than others, of course. Ask those involved in the strange and strained stories of Lance Armstrong or Manti Te'o. This much is true: We live with half-truths — of varying kinds and sizes. A year is not always 365 days. A billable hour is not necessarily 60 minutes. Pluto isn't precisely a planet.
Having finished our sandwich, we offer a list of 12 misleading notions we accept in everyday life:
1) A two-by-four at a retail lumberyard is not 2 inches by 4 inches.
2) Peanuts are not really nuts, but legumes.
3) A hydrogen bond is not a true bond, but a type of electromagnetic attraction.
4) The American buffalo is not a buffalo, but a bison.
5) A koala bear is not a bear; it's a marsupial.
6) A starfish isn't a fish; it's an echinoderm.
7) A palm tree is not a tree, but a form of grass.
8) A penny is worth more than a penny, costing more than two cents to make.
9) "Swollen glands" are not actually glands; they are a series of lymph nodes.
10) A mountain goat is not really a goat.
11) Pink is not exactly a color.
Quote of the Day
Don't judge each day by the harvest you
reap but by the seeds that you plant.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
11th December 2013
Action Steps for Navigating Your Single Life - Part Two
Part Two :
( continued from yesterday )
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. says it best in his book “Keeping the Love You Find”: “Singleness would be recognized as a vital stage of the journey to maturation, a time to learn about who we are, to learn responsibility and self-sufficiency, to identify our true desires, and to confront our inner strengths and demons, a time to make changes in the things that stymie our pleasure and progress in life, to learn how to connect and communicate on all levels. It would be sorely needed relationship training.” (1)
Action Steps for Navigating Your Single Life
The following are some practical tips and suggestions for managing your single hood to promote a positive acceptance and enjoyment of this special time in your life:
Create a checklist of the opportunities that being single affords you and start living them!
Start a journal about your single-status and what it means to you. Answer the following questions:
Why am I single? How do I feel about that?
What do I want from being single?
What thoughts, feelings, and behaviors hold me back from being able to embrace this time of my life?
How do I contribute to my own unfulfillment with being single? How do I sabotage myself?
Don’t deny your feelings or ignore your desire for a relationship. Process these feelings in your journal and write about ways you can create more meaning and purpose in your life.
Identify the biggest challenges you face with being single and develop goals to defeat them.
Develop affirmation cards. Grab some index cards and write positive thoughts, motivational statements, advantages and opportunities of being single, and self-improvement goals onto the cards. Read them to yourself daily to begin internalizing the messages. Alternatively, stick the cards in a jar and during times of loneliness or depressive funks, refer to the cards for a quick pick-me-up.
Identify things you’ve always been meaning to do or try but never made the time to pursue or learn. Take action.
Build your support system, join a class, volunteer for a cause that’s meaningful to you, commit yourself to health and wellness
Be active. Live your life to the max! Make it count!
As you can see, being single provides you with many opportunities for self-growth, fun, and preparing yourself for your life partner when you eventually meet him. Take advantage of this crucial time in your life to accomplish your life goals, improve your self-esteem, work through any internalized homophobia you may be struggling with, and build your interpersonal skills.
It’s important to avoid glamorizing relationships because “the grass is not always greener on the other side” and to realize that having a boyfriend does not take away problems that you may already have in your life.
Appreciate this time of your life and don’t measure your happiness or worth as a person on your relationship status.
The Law of Attraction states that we attract situations, people, and experiences in our lives that reflect who we are and what we focus on.
Negativity about being single will only mirror, magnify, and attract more negativity. Counter this by taking charge of your single life and crafting it into being the most meaningful and fulfilling time of your life with its alignment to your life vision and purpose. Cheers to your becoming a successful single!
Quote of the Day
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible
will make violent revolution inevitable.
-John F. Kennedy