Shadow Of My Life
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28th November 2015
27th November 2015
Quote of the Day
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.
-Henry David Thoreau
26th November 2015
The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart
sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron,
so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!"
-Henry Ward Beecher
23rd November 2015
When Sex Gets Boring
“I’ve got to beat the clock before we each lose interest.” Someone recently made that statement to me about his erotic life with his partner. His experience has been that erotic interest between two people dies pretty quickly, so you better get in as much sex as possible during the early years of the relationship.
If you don’t have good sex early on, it’s never going to get any better. Single guys sometimes tell me they get tired of their sexual routine, too: sex may be easy to get, but it’s often not deeply satisfying. They find themselves in a rut, feeling like they ought to be enjoying themselves more than they actually do....
Feeling like sex has become a chore can take a toll on how you feel about yourself. If you’re in a relationship, a sex life that’s as predictable as a 70’s sitcom rerun can make you feel like you with the wrong guy. Ruts suck. They’re boring and the siphon the juice out of just about anything: your job, your diet, and your relationships.
People are creatures of habit, whether we’re talking grocery shopping or lovemaking. Habits aren’t necessarily bad if they work for you. Trouble is, routines can become so…routine. We want a little variety, some jalapeno peppers spicing up the same old dish.
How to change things? A good place to start is with yourself. What’s it like when you’re feeling sexual and you’re also alone? Many of us have been pleasuring ourselves in the same way since we left adolescence. Get out the lube, turn on the VCR, enjoy yourself for 5 minutes, get a towel to clean up and turn out the lights for the evening.
Talk about ruts! What would it be like to take your time, to really notice how your body feels, to run your hands over the smooth places and furry places, etc? Or to get off your back, put on some music and touch yourself while you move and dance.
You may find your eyes starting to glaze over when you hear “So what are you into?” For too many men words like “top” or “bottom” become like straightjackets, confining sex to predictable routines. Why not mix it up?
Whether tricking, dating or relating, too many of us have picked up the mistaken message that a good lover is in charge of his partner’s pleasure. This is actually a little grandiose; how are you supposed to know what makes him feel good, especially if he doesn’t tell you? “I’m responsible for his pleasure” leads to disappointment. Try replacing it with “I’m responsible for my own pleasure and for being present with my partner.”
A problem some men experience when they are in relationships is that we seek unconditional love from our partner, but that sort of love can seem less sexy. In fact, the affection that builds over time can make the other guy feel like family – and sex with him feel incestuous on an unconscious level. Keeping a relationship sexy means breaking that taboo.
With a partner or someone else with whom you’re sharing erotic life, it can be fun to play the “Your Turn/My Turn Game.” It goes like this: Ask your partner to undress and lay back while you explore his body. (You may want to have some conversation first about his general likes and dislikes.) Explore touching different places in his body – including touching with your hands, fingertips, fingernails, lips, etc.
Try varying the pressure – light sometimes, more forceful. ake it playful; imagine a devilish look in your eyes, asking him “Which feels better, A or B?” See if you can learn what sort of touch doesn’t work for him, what’s pleasurable, what’s a major turn-on. When you’ve finished, it’s his turn to give and your turn to receive. The object of the game is for each guy to find out more about what sort of touch feels pleasurable to receive, and for each man to learn something about how to touch the other.
Don’t let your erotic life get boring. A guy could spend an entire lifetime learning about the landscape of his own desires and learning how to be a good lover. Turn off the TV and see what happens.
22nd November 2015
21st November 2015
Passion & The Meaning In Life
Why do so many of us have trouble finding out what we’re passionate about? I’m not talking about sexual heat or passionate relationships, although that excitement is certainly important. I’m thinking of passion in the broadest sense: an interest in life, in something beyond ourselves. Our society suffers from a sort of low-grade depression.
Many of us may not actually be hurting, but we’re pretty disinterested or disconnected. What’s going on, and what can we do about it?. Finding the juice in your life is important if you want to be truly happy. So, what gives your life meaning and purpose?
In our consumer society, it’s easy to distract ourselves from concerns that seem too abstract by substituting the pursuit of material things like bigger pecs, the latest car or dancing at the hottest club. That’s fun – but it rarely scratches that deepest itch, the one about whether life is ultimately fulfilling.
People who are parents often find ready-made purpose in life because of the importance human beings place on the rearing of children. Sure, continuation of the species is important, but let’s face it: biological reproduction is not such a big accomplishment. And when children grow up, parents speak of the “empty nest syndrome,” and end up facing many of the same challenges as everyone else.
Rather than adding more people to an already-crowded planet, many of us make find other ways to make a contribution. Some of us volunteer our time with organizations we value; others of us choose professions that put our nurturing instincts to work in other ways. Many of us make the world a better place through the arts. Others find that participating in the natural world –gardening, environmental awareness – fulfills our yearning to make things better.
One of the interesting things about finding your purpose is that no one else can find it for you. Maybe your parents or the preacher at your childhood church tried to give you answers, and maybe those worked for a while. Ultimately, however, success in life depends on you leading your life the way you choose to do lead it.
So what can you do?
Slow down. Give yourself a break from multitasking. Take a deep breath and relax. Life doesn’t become more meaningful if you simply fill it up with more busy-ness. Try doing less, and allow yourself to appreciate completing something you do well.
Stop distracting yourself. Pay attention to what’s going on around you right now. What clues do you find to what makes you happy?
If your life ended tomorrow, what would you want to have accomplished that you haven’t yet done? It’s probably not just spending more time at the office. How would you like your epitaph to read? What do you want your legacy to be?
What makes you happy? Too many of us live as if existence was supposed to be deadly serious. Passion happens when we’re feeling playful and exuberant. Start noticing your senses and what they have to teach you.
You’re in touch with your passion when you’re doing something just because you love it – not because you’re especially good at it, or other people tell you that you should do it or because you make a lot of money when you do it. Fun is the fuel that life runs on. How full is your tank?
20th November 2015
Quote of the Day
"Never apologize for showing your feelings.
When you do, you apologize for the truth."
- Benjamin Disraeli
19th November 2015
New Survey Reveals How Americans Will Celebrate This Year
: While Americans may be divided on how to run the country, we are united in the importance of family and tradition at Thanksgiving. According to a new survey by researchers at Mrs. Cubbison's Kitchen in Los Angeles, when asked "to whom or what will you be giving thanks for this year"" the majority of Americans will be giving thanks for "family," followed by "health," "God," and "friends." This sentiment has not changed much in 223 years, since George Washington expressed these feelings when, as our country's first president, he introduced a Thanksgiving Proclamation in 1789.
The nationwide survey, which can be viewed at www.ThanksgivingTips.com, uncovers the latest data on similarities and differences on how our nation celebrates Thanksgiving. Over 80% of people surveyed said Thanksgiving is the most important non-religious holiday of the year. While most people said they spend Thanksgiving with direct and extended family members, people in the West also share the holiday with friends more than people in other parts of the country.
The Menu …Turkey and Stuffing Top The List, But Special Diets Are Growing In Importance
No matter who is at your table, turkey is still the top menu must-have, followed by stuffing at a close second. Mashed potatoes, pie and yams/sweet potatoes round out the top five favorite menu items. When it comes to leftovers, pie and stuffing come in right behind a good turkey sandwich. Although traditional fare is preferred, one in five families said they consider special diets when preparing their menu; people in the West prepare vegetarian and gluten-free choices while the South and Midwest offer items for those who are diabetic. The Northeast and South are also trending towards lactose-free and kosher menu offerings.
Stuffing is A Family Tradition
When asked which Thanksgiving dishes are handed down from previous family generations, the "stuffing" was by far the most important traditional family recipe. When it comes to stuffing ingredients, over 80% said celery and onions topped the list. People in the Northeast and West are more likely to add more "stuff" like carrots and sausage. Around 70% of people in the South and 60% of people in the Northeast said they like to cook stuffing in a casserole dish in the oven, while around 58% of people in the West and 45% of people in the Midwest said they prefer to cook it in the bird.
Stuffing or Dressing?
That depends on where you live. Southerners say "dressing" while people in the East, Midwest and West say "stuffing."
Who Cooks and Plans for The Most Important Meal of the Year?
Over 45% of respondents said Mom is the main cook and planner for the Thanksgiving meal, especially in the Northeast. But, family members and friends play supporting roles. In the South, siblings are more likely to help with the cooking more than other parts of the country. Friends assist in the West and South, while children are often helpers in the Midwest.
Turkey Day Anxiety…
More than 30% of women said their biggest Thanksgiving meal concern is that all the menu items will be done at the same time and stay warm. Men's biggest menu concern is the turkey will be too dry (44%). Women turn to magazines and the Internet for turkey day help, while men ask their dad for cooking advice.
Shopping Habits Across the Country…
The majority of survey respondents said they start shopping for Thanksgiving one to two weeks before the big day. People in the South start their shopping the earliest (3 or more weeks before) while those in the Northeast said they start one week before. People in the West are more likely to shop in natural food stores while in the Northeast they prefer neighborhood markets.
How much time is spent in the kitchen?
People in the South spend the most time with their meal preparation (2 to 3 days before) while those in the West spend a full day or less in the kitchen. Most everyone spends at least half the day in the kitchen on Thanksgiving Day.
Yes, we do get a little help from our family and friends. Guests bring vegetable side dishes and desserts and are more likely to do so in the West. However, in the Northeast, the host is more likely to prepare the entire meal.
What Do Families Do for Fun?
After watching football, American families are connecting with games and stories. Watching football was the number one activity mentioned by over 60% of people surveyed. Approximately 40% said they share family stories on Thanksgiving Day. Families in the West and Midwest like to play games together more than the rest of the country. Funny family stories are about unusual dishes served at the meal; touching stories are about memories of family relatives and friends.
The Thanksgiving meal is a tasty temptation! Over 88% of respondents said they have sneaked into the kitchen to steal a sample of the Thanksgiving fare before it hits the table. The survey was conducted by Wilson & Associates, which interviewed a balanced and representative nation-wide sample of 400 households with adults over 18 years old that celebrate Thanksgiving, which has a statistical precision of +/- 5%.
The complete Thanksgiving Across America survey can be viewed at www.ThanksgivingTips.com.
18th November 2015
17th November 2015
Top Reasons Why They Work & Fail - Part Two
Adding ‘Gay’ To The Mix
Some additional factors that I might add to the list for making relationships work that are more specific to gay men in a couple include:
The above skills will help promote a working atmosphere to help the two of you co-pilot the type of relationship you’re seeking. Identify your strengths and weaknesses as a couple from the tips and craft a plan for making things even better between the two of you.
Society desperately needs to see healthy gay couples functioning in successful relationships. Could you be a role model as gay partners if you choose? If so, let us all share the wealth and wisdom with each other as a community, to learn from each other on what it takes! Cheers to your relationship success!
16th November 2015